About Jane

Everything I do, think, or create is a sin. Since 2012.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “About Jane

  1. Sounds like a very heavy burden to bear. Sounds familiar. I’m just starting to read “Complex PTSD–From Surviving to Thriving”. One of the concepts is that due to our parents’ inability to be there for us emotionally, we have developed a “poisonous indoctrination of the mind”. What this means is, there is a piece of us that, every time we break the “rules” (making choices to do nice things or stand up for ourselves), there is a part of our psyche that feels threatened, and uses every tool at its disposal to bully us back into submission. That’s what your “about” statement makes me think of.

    • Yes, I would agree with that. We beat ourselves down, back where we were taught/forced to be. I have had to get out of my own way a hundred times, and still I am standing there, keeping myself from what I want to do.
      In 2012 I left my abuser and my religion, in that order. Both actions make me an abomination, and my life is thus forfeit. Every breath I take is an affront to God, as I have denied His ¨natural¨ state of being, of submission to Him and men. So I am under a death sentence, from two sources. One has been convicted and is still a threat, but the Other never will be either, if you strip Him of His followers. I fear their zeal.
      So I am living in sin. Living when I should be not, free in a way I should not be. I should not be here, at all. I never take it for granted. It is truly a joy.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s