Trust as Illusion

I don’t understand trust. Why are people suspicious of those they just met, and not those they live with?
Surely we have all had experiences where people we have known for ages and trusted became dangerous to us.
There is no guarantee someone will not attack you or betray you or steal from you.
All of us have experienced some sort of betrayal from people in our lives that we felt as close to as our jugular vein.
People change. You must constantly reassess your trust, anyway.
Trust, to me, is a decision. Not to be suspicious in that moment, not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I decide to trust. Anything else is me allowing myself to be lulled.
I don’t talk about this sort of thing much, others get uncomfortable with the concept. What do you think?


2 thoughts on “Trust as Illusion

  1. I’ve thought about trust a lot, too — and like you, I find it a bit baffling, though not for the same reasons. I try to think about it not like a lightswitch anymore — trust ON, trust OFF — and more like…a thermometer, maybe? Something that goes up and down, based on circumstances and evidence. Something that I have more or less off, depending on the other person’s actions over time. It can be lost, it can be re-earned, I get to decide. And nothing makes it go down faster that having a person tell me I should just trust them, for any reason other than their consistent past actions…

    • Yes, I used to think of it as a thermometer and then I realized a lot of breaches of trust came from nowhere after years of familiarity. So I have decided it is a lightswitch. Maybe this is one of those things we oscillate between all our lives.

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