I have our house rules posted on the wall. Below that are additional rules governing having friends over or going out.
At the bottom of this list is the note ¨*Breaking house rules costs privileges!¨
Which is why I was offline for two days.
Because I threw a fit of temper before bed on Thanksgiving, and this is clearly listed under the house rules. In the line that says ¨No fits!¨.
Internet is a privilege.
Sometimes I need time to myself. If I have no alone time my temper gets short. I feel sorry for my son, who I yelled at tonight because he would not go to sleep and let me do the same.
We worked it out, no thanks to me. I think he went to bed okay, I tried to work it out as best I could. I was just too worn out to figure it all out properly. I hope he is okay.
I am just exhausted.
Holidays are hard, physically and emotionally.
Just when I think I am doing swimmingly I lose it in the last five minutes.
I am tired and guilty- and I hate that feeling.
I have another Thanksgiving to cook for and attend tomorrow. I don´t feel good about it any more.
So my mother fell down a flight of stairs, broke both her thumbs, a wrist, and smacked her head on a chair lift. If only she had been in the chair lift, instead, I was thinking.
But she did not tell me.
She called her sister the day of.
She called my brother the day after, and left me a lot of dead air messages in an hour´s span that evening.
I tried to reach her all day today, because on one of those dead air messages I heard her friend talking to her about being her being hospitalized. She never answered.
After I got home from work she had her friend call me to tell me what had happened and to request that I call her later.
A half hour later she called me. I went over her emergency procedures with her, which were lacking, as they always are. Mine are no better, really. But she got mad at me for asking her why she didn´t let me know right away. She didn´t want to give me any local contact, but she finally gave up a phone number.
When your parent chooses to age away from you this is the sort of thing that makes you feel helpless.
The kids and I are going to send her some mail this week.