My mother called today to tell me what happened with her visit to the doctor yesterday, two months after I begged her and tried to bully her into going. He has ordered a brain scan. Score one for me. He thinks she is doing well with her care. Score one for mom and I lost a point on that assessment, as the doctor and I differ there. He also has sent her to a geriatrics daycare three days a week, and those folks will be doing further assessment on her, through observation and oversight. Score big for doc. That last referral makes me much happier.
She also told that me she is filling out her medical POA right now, to be held by her ex-wife. I will be happy to see it. I wish she had picked her Episcopalian priest to manage her care, but someone local is better than no one.
So I hope I am done bullying my mother into compliance. It took me a few years, and I had to become quite aggressive about it. I think it worked. I don’t want to be angry with her anymore over anything.
She still will not move up here, but she has always chosen to be separate from her family, so this is nothing new. I suppose I ought to let go and let her decline from a distance. It kills me not to be there to argue with doctors and insist she live in a clean house, but it is also not what she wants from me. I suppose I shouldn’t worry any longer. I do feel a bit of relief. I would feel a bit more relieved if she would wrap up all her loose ends, but the medical part is the most important.