A Big Step

I used to move in human rights circles, behind the scenes. I did a lot of work for one organization in particular.

I have an opportunity to meet up with other people, not necessarily the activists of the movement, though there might be some, but with the victims for certain.

My abuser moves in these circles, too, with both types.

This is a sort of outer ring, newer than what he knows and less exclusive, but perhaps attractive to the old guard that he belongs to.

I am scared out of my mind, I want to participate, but I don’t want to place myself or the children at risk.

His travel ban is lifted in a few months, he used to be active in the area where the meetup is. What if anyone recognizes me? Or my story?  Will I be tracked back? How much risk am I taking?

I have an opportunity to go through the security screening quite soon. I don’t know what questions to ask about security or how to ensure my safety.

It would sound sort of prejudice to say “do you have members attending who used to be active in x, y, or z?” “Do you have members from thiscity thatcity or thatplace?” I don’t know how to say it without sounding fishy, myself.

Do they need verification from me? Would they accept an NGOs word? Or do I need my legal documents, which would give them the abusers name- as the defendant? What if they have members that move in his circle at the level of verification? ARGG. Am I cautious, or paranoid? Do I have to put off living my life until the children are safely on their own and untraceable?

I downloaded Skype for the interview. I need a camera and a microphone, I had neither. Can you believe it? I have been that afraid. I am still, but I am going to buy them tomorrow. I have to remember to check my miscellaneous electronics box. The babysitter is always giving me things I cannot use and I just throw them in there. I might have them already and not even know.

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