Mistakes On The Job

I really love my job. I love the people I work for. They are nice people who invest in their community and live charitable lives. Very worthy folks.

Yesterday my boss was taking care of my duties for me when I was off, and she found I had given a discount to a customer when I should not have. It lessened the variety of our inventory and it lost the company money.

I was so interested in getting reliable long term customers (for rentals) that I was a bit too eager to seal the deal. I sealed it, and robbed my boss of twenty five dollars a month for possibly years to come.

I hate making mistakes.

I feel like I am fighting against memory issues when I am at work, I forget things, even procedures. I always feel inadequate and I am always scrambling for ways to fix it, with shortcuts and memory tricks.

I am so very ashamed to have made this mistake on top of the rest of it. I am having trouble forgiving myself.

I want to propose a way to take a pay cut or work extra, unpaid, to make up for it. But I am terrified of making it worse by bringing it up or getting caught paying it back without permission. I am also afraid I would blubber through the proposal. The owner has been so kind to me, I don’t want to advertise the fact that I am mismanaging his property. Though I am sure he must know. I am still trying not to cry about it. I feel about two years old. I am forcing myself to eat, even.

I worked and I came home and I cooked for my mother, my children, for three hours.

I just wanted to lay down and cry. But it won’t help me.


5 thoughts on “Mistakes On The Job

  1. It is okay to allow yourself the time to cry. You don’t have to be strong all of the time! You had a hard day and that’s something you’re allowed to FEEL.
    On the other hand, though, everyone makes mistakes and you don’t have to feel so guilty. What you did was a simple miscalculation and that happens all the time. Try to cut yourself some slack.
    Be gentle with your beautiful self.

      • I think that’s pretty normal. Everyone has one particular thing that makes them irrationally upset or angry. For me, feeling stupid does it. So you are not alone in that. When I feel stupid (in a big way), I lash out at anyone and everyone (including myself) and cry hysterically and it doesn’t make sense, but that’s how it is. Feelings don’t always make sense. Remember that unlike your two-year-old self, you can reach out and talk about and cope effectively with your feelings.

  2. The funny thing about this mistake was that the customer ended up changing her mind- she wanted more than what she got. Instead of losing twenty-five dollars a month, I secured twenty-five dollars a month, for at least two years. So my mistake made the company more, rather than less. How hard I was on myself for being accommodating with a customer, which gained customer loyalty and more income. Hard hard I am on myself, when it all works out in the end.

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