Missing Someone Who Doesn’t Miss You

Is pretty pathetic.

But there you are. I seem to do it all the time.

I miss the friends I had in high school and very early adulthood.

Leaving a religion and a lifestyle and an abusive man really threw me. When I got someplace stable enough to have my wits about me, I reached out to people I had not spoken to in years. It was as if I had woken after a long sleep, and I remembered how much I loved them as if I had seen them the night before for dinner. How much I still loved them, after the fog of numbness wore off. I am glad I tried.

I only got one response. I am grateful to have her back in my life, but I miss the others.

I insist to my therapist, on multiple occasions, that something is certainly wrong with me. I know many people who are still in touch with all their friends from decades before. Why not me?

I miss the man I spoke with last year. I think about him every day. I shouldn’t.

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2 thoughts on “Missing Someone Who Doesn’t Miss You

  1. I understand that pain, and you have my empathy. My past is littered with friendships abandoned, people I walked away from — for no good reason. It’s only recently I have come to appreciate the value of long-standing relationships. The longer the gap, the harder a friendship is to rekindle. I have changed so much in the intervening years, as have they, and often the people I am now missing are people they moved on from being a very long time ago.

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