The psychologist has reversed an earlier diagnosis for my oldest son, and stated he does still have PTSD. We had thought the oldest and the youngest were free of it, as symptoms had disappeared.
In his case, he had just stopped verbalizing them.
Now it is harder to deal with his outbursts, are they about transition issues, or is he triggered? Luckily they are usually short, he nearly always comes round very quickly.
My father and his wife do not believe in PTSD or psychologists or psychiatry. People looking for excuses will find them, they say.
My brother, a career military man, has told me PTSD, in his opinion, happens to those with a weaker mind, a flawed personality, and would not be so prevalent in the military right now if it held applicants to more stringent standards.
This is why I don’t call them anymore. My own diagnosis and all the struggles that go with it are not conversation I can broach with them. I call enough to be polite, I hope. But not to talk about myself.
PTSD took over my life. I don’t want to hear about how it is all in my mind, or how deeply flawed I must be to be susceptible to it in the first place.
If anyone reading this wants to talk about PTSD in the comments, I am all ears and I am ready to have a dialogue on it and on trauma. I am tired of not talking about it. If I talked more about my trauma in the first place, I might not have ended up with any PTSD at all.


4 thoughts on “PTSD

  1. PTSD is very real. It’s the effect of a brain being swamped by fear chemicals and overtaxed for a time. Imagine driving your car in first gear at 60 mph. You might be ok for the first mile (like we are able to cope with immediate crises) but after that the engine would begin to damage itself. Extensive repairs would be needed and even then the car may never be the workhorse dependable machine it was. Your father is the product of his generation- can’t show fear, must be a man. Ironically that means he must be afraid in a lot of situations: working out how to be strong. PTSD is slightly more likely in some people but that’s usually to do with past traumas that have already taxed the engine. Hang in there and fight fire with facts. You’re not alone.

    • Thanks for the support. I read the physical description of PTSD, the chemical reactions and etc, but it never made sense until my symptoms actually slowed down enough that I had some normalcy in between reactions. Now I can feel it when it happens.

  2. When I first started driving I had PTS from a car accident I was in in middle school. For the first couple years I drove I would have flashbacks every time I saw a car coming towards me (especially from my left side) at an intersection. Gradually it diminished to only multi-lane intersections. I’ve been driving for six years and this year I finally got to the point of making left turns across multiple lanes without any panicking, and I’ve also stopped ducking down when I’m the passenger and the driver makes a left turn across multiple lanes. I just remember to stay calm, trust what I see in front of me and trust the other drivers.

    In the accident my brain slowed everything down so I can remember the lady coming at us and the moment of impact. In reality it was only a few seconds but to me it seemed like a couple minutes – that made it hard to trust my eyes and brain when judging the distance between me and other cars when making turns.

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