I don’t know anything about mindfulness other than keeping your mind on what you are doing in that very moment, and not allowing your mind to leap ahead or distract you with something else.

So I need to read up on it. Because it really works on those PTSD moments where you find your anxiety simmering at the top of intolerable. I was able to deal with noise so much more efficiently this evening, and yesterday, because I was trying that one simple part of mindfulness. I did not multitask unless I was cooking more than one dish at a time. No laundry during dinner or helping kids with art while cleaning. No lecturing a kid while packing up for the next day. Just one thing at a time.

If I started to look at the clock and mentally run through the list of things left undone, I shut it down. I told myself now was not the time. I am busy with something else. It really helped.

My PTSD specialist had mentioned it to me as a new treatment that was catching on, teaching patients to practice mindfulness. I need to learn more. This is as neat a trick as that breathing thing, where you lower the CO2 levels and drop your heart rate.

I am so lucky that I can do these things. A few weeks ago I felt like I would never get better. I have hope, now, lots of it.

Maybe I am not doomed to be a person controlled by triggers. Maybe I can have a life.


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