I have prepared a basic statement for my local DV group on women like myself, and our particular peculiarities, in order to adequately prepare the local DV shelter and staff for what I hope is coming. What I hope is coming, is more women like me, getting out of their abusive homes. My particular minority population has not entered my area en force yet. There is one local family, and another was spotted house shopping a half hour north of here. I am on call, by the local group, for when it happens.
I had a request from a doctor to contact a woman of the local majority culture who will not leave her abuser. I have been texting her, when she is able to sneak it without fear of being caught. About two texts per day, not a lot of freedom, there, that I can discern. Her husband is a nightmarish piece of work. Like many abusers, he also targets children, in the guise of “teaching” or “hardening” them. She has not mentioned any formal military or law enforcement training on his part, however, and that is a good thing. If he cannot out-strategize the sheriff and the local DV group, everyone is safer. She has professionals telling her to leave, I have no crisis training at all, and I might be a last resort.
Between the risk to her, and the empathy I feel, it is stressful. It brings up memories, visceral memories where I can taste the fear and feel the breath of the hunter. But still. There is nothing I would rather be doing more than this. It is completely worth it.